Since I became a Mother I've had the (mostly) displeasure of reading tons of blog posts on the life of a new mother...how to survive the awfulness that is your baby....etc etc.
The vast majority of these posts, at some point or another, discuss the sleep deprivation; the constant screaming; the exhaustion that is feeding your baby; the longing for your old life; your old body; the need for your baby to sleep 12 hours a night by their eighth week of life like it's some unspoken (if only it was unspoken!!!) rule or competition. And my absolute favourite....the need for an immediate routine! Because if you don't have a STRICT routine with your newborn from the start, not only will you be making the baby miserable (because they NEED routine)...but you will be 'ruining it' or 'making a rod for your own back' (so what?? It's my back...if I want to carry about a rod, I will!). If said baby resists sleep when you command it...or heaven forbid cries (for nothing!) and you comfort them, then you're in real bother....you've then equipped your baby with the tools to manipulate you...to play you!!
Well...to all of the above I say....Keich, absolute KEICH!!!!
I have never longed for my old life...because? It was incomplete...my old life now seems unimaginable without my precious daughter.
I have never felt any more sleep deprived than I did when I didn't have a baby. My baby sleeps when she's tired...and we snuggle in at night, together, and enjoy hours and hours of sleepy cuddles. Sure, some nights she'll sleep 14 hours, with only little dreamy feeds inbetween, and other nights she'll only sleep 4 hours. But...I don't stress...I don't write awful blog posts wishing my child would 'go to f@$k to sleep' or deprive her of my love and attention because she's had the audacity to not read my schedule. I just pick her up...love her...feed her...play with her....whatever she needs...and then, when sleepy dust consumes her little mind again...I snuggle back down and snooze. If I can't sleep with her, because of life or work, well tough...I just deal, because the liklihood is...she'll grow out of this stage too!
If my baby cries...I go to her. I don't listen to those people who tell me I'm ruining or spoiling her (food spoils...not children). I answer her calls...because despite what sleep trainers and so called experts in baby 'behaviour' may preach, babies cry to communicate...not to manipulate! If she cries...she needs me...she needs to know we'll answer her call...meet her needs and be there for her. It's the only way she'll ever feel secure enough in the world...to know she's respected and listened to, even from this young age.
And routine....well...to each their own. But...I allow my baby to set HER routine. I make my own decisions about when I'll eat, sleep, play, cry, laugh....so why shouldn't she? She is a human...albeit a tiny little innocent one...but a human all the same. She has desires, needs, thoughts. Why shouldn't a baby be able to make decisions about these basic needs? They are not robots!
I wanted to write this because I think the internet is full of blogs about how inconvenient a baby is...and how much they take over your world. Well...yes...they do! But they show you how to live...they fill your heart and life with so much love and joy I cannot do it justice through words alone. They change everything...for the better and they become your life...your everything!
But, they grow so quickly!!!
So...next time your baby doesn't conform to your standards or routine...stop and think. Sooner than you'd like, they won't need you the way they do now...and you'll miss all of these times!
Don't make regrets...make memories!
